Co-Parenting After Separation

For any of the reasons that your relationship may have ended, the children still need you both, equally. Unlike your breakups prior to children, no longer is it possible to only think about yourself and your own emotions after a breakup. You are now responsible for dealing with your own emotions regarding the ending of your relationship all while keeping those feelings totally and completely separate from your emotions regarding co-parenting.

Most good parents understand that children’s relationship with both parents is the most important asset to preserve post separation. However, many of those same good parents really don’t know where to start or how to accomplish this preservation. I often see well-meaning parents making detrimental mistakes in co-parenting; placing pressure on the children that is not their burden to carry. On the positive side, most children are resilient and can recover fairly quickly when their parents start co-parenting in the best interest of their children.

Let’s review some of the common “good parent" mistakes in co-parenting and possible solutions:

The Go-Between Children:

Never should your child, of any age, be responsible for relaying messages between you and your ex. It’s not your children’s responsibility to be a messenger; not about their parents' emotions, doctor’s appointments…